Did I really want to see a Tom Cruise movie? No! The guy is
just bat-shit nuts. I haven’t enjoyed watching him in a movie in years. His
weird antics on and off the camera have really left me cold to a guy I once
respected. And don’t even get me started on the Scientology thing – that’s just
too ‘out there’ even for me. Actually, one of my pet peeves are the delusional fantasies with which people surround
themselves and Hollywood folks seem especially prone to this and that’s what I
can’t stop thinking about when I see a new Tom Cruise movie coming out.
(heh-heh)
The things that pisses me off most about Cruise is that he
gets first shot, in most cases, with the best scripts because he’s still
considered a box office heavy wait. Thus, a lot of interesting movies, such as
Valkyrie or Oblivion get gobbled up by the Cruise Machine. Even his ‘little’
films would have been better with other actors – I’m thinking of things like
Magnolia. And while I enjoyed his great work in Tropic Thunder, I shudder when
I see an exciting new film and then see his name. I haven’t even seen Rock of Ages, just for
that reason.
So it was with great reserve I stood at the Red Box and
chose Jack Reacher for my weekend viewing pleasure. Actually, there simply wasn't much else out there to look at and I needed a movie. (As if it’s any kind of
consolation the other selection that evening – Beautiful Creatures – sucked also
except for the specific scenes with Jeremy Irons.)
Anyways, the movie rolled and it actually wasn't half bad. I
started to get wrapped up in it. There’s a sniper picking off people at random
on the riverwalk in Pittsburgh and the police are lead to a guy ex-military outta Iraq who has gone haywire,
they’re certain is the shooter. Under interrogation he will only say two words:
Jack Reacher.
Enter out hero. What follows is a glorified episode of NCIS
that even had me going until the plot shows its hand long before the characters
figure it out. That’s almost always a mistake in films and this film proves the
rule as the characters – the indefatigable Jack Reacher included – take another
chunk of film to figure out the mystery.
During this period, things start to fall apart.
Jack Reacher -- Can he really beat up five guys at the same time?
There’s
an appearance by Robert Duvall that is welcome relief, but his role also
destroys the picture. Duvall, at least, has had actual army experience, but
Cruise is just a Big Star trying to play a trained military killer. As I watched the
fight and chase scenes unfold I could almost hear Director Christopher
McQuarrie shouting ‘cut’ and calling for the stand in. I never get that feeling
watching an episode of NCIS. In the end, it’s just too unbelievable that a
crazy, rich Hollywood actor can play a trained military veteran with the skills
Jack Reacher possesses, nor has he earned the respect he’s given by the
characters around him.
One of
our greatest film directors (Werner Herzog) has an important and
fascinating role, but it’s not good enough to save Jack Reacher. This is the kind
of movie a guy will stay up to watch when he’s thinking divorce and doesn't want to sleep with his wife. (Some of you guys know what I mean.) Looking at what Cruise has in the works further depresses
me as he sops up more good stories I might have been interested in watching if
his name weren't attached. Bad Movie! No
Wilders for you!
Overlooked
Movie of Significance for the Week: Gosh!
It’s so hard to find a Cruise movie to fit this category since every movie he
makes is a ‘blockbuster.’ I guess I’ll
settle on The Last Samurai which is a not-so-bad movie that not many people saw
and Cruise’s star power is somewhat overwhelmed by the beauty of feudal Japan.
I wish he’d settle on more scripts like this or just join Mel Gibson at the
Burn Out Saloon.
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