The Legend of Hercules

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1043726/

Fantasy has been big business for filmmakers for some time. Masterpieces like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings are few and far between, producers have been reaching into the deep well of global folklore for ideas. Some work, some don’t. This one doesn't.

The Legend of Hercules continues the bizarre custom of making Greek things look Roman and vice-versa and otherwise mangling everything archaeologists know about the classical world. If you want an exotic villain, put him in an Egyptian outfit with a Sumerian sword and let him sail a Phoenician boat right up to the shore of… Athens? Sometimes this confusing mix even makes it into current events.

When 300 was released in 2006, many conservative editorial attempted to prop up the disastrous situation in Iraq by drawing parallels between the brave Spartans taking a lonely stand against a pagan horde bent on world destruction. The trouble is that history just wasn't with them. It was the Spartans themselves who failed to rally behind King Leonidas and his effort was backed up by several thousand Athenians at Thermopylae. In reality, the Spartans would have gladly risked losing their country than cooperate with the libertine Athenians. Hardly the parallel conservatives would want to admit to nowadays…

    Two men go in -- one demigod comes out in The Legend of Hercules.

And with The Legend of Hercules, bad history once again repeats itself. Don’t look for this Hercules (the Greeks called him Heracles) to battle bulls, boars and multi-headed beasts. Other than a tussle with a stuffed lion procured from FAO Schwartz, this drama is strictly a family affair as the son of Zeus battles for supremacy over his mother’s war-mongering husband. How does this would-be prince of peace accomplish this? Let’s just say Gandhi is not in his repertoire. The climactic scene takes us back to Samson and the Old Testament so you can expect some styrofoam blocks falling.

The plot sticks closely to the Ben-Hur/Gladiator mold. There’s the fall from upper-class status, the galley slave bit and the triumphant return via the arena. This well-traveled road doesn't lead to Rome, Greece or anywhere else. Mercifully the film is just a little over an hour and a half long.

I sought out the 3D exhibition for the eye candy and, plush lion aside, was impressed with all the arrows, fireballs and constant be-petalled flotsam floating around most scenes comin’ at ya. Otherwise, this is strictly entertainment for children. There is no more sex and violence than you might see in the average Victor Mature film. The most violent acts are done old-Hollywood style, off camera with a squishing sound, although a gladiator joke from the classic Airplane film may cross your mind during some wrestling scenes. 

It’s the perfect place to drop the kids off for a couple hours while you enjoy a cup of coffee at Barnes & Noble and for that I’ll order an espresso and give this film one Wilder.

Our Overlooked Film of Significance for the Week: As far as sword and sandal epics go, I always liked The Long Ships, 1964, with Richard Widmark and Sydney Poitier. Although set in the Viking era, they search parts of the Classical world for a legendary golden bell that once belonged to Hercules… or was it Heracles?

American Hustle

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1800241/

Back in the 90’s when The Crying Game was a popular movie, David Spade said on Saturday Night Live: “I’m about to reveal the big secret about The Crying Game… (whispering) it’s overrated…”

That joke came to mind when I was watching American Hustle, at least during the first lazy hour. With all the high praise the film has been getting, I guess I just expected more.

You wouldn't want to know any of these people in real life, or trust them with anything important.  There’s a popular American literary tradition to change con men and misfits into working-class heroes. The trouble with American Hustle is that you don’t have much to work with on either side of the law.

The lead characters – played deftly by (in order) Christian Bale, Jennifer Lawrence, Amy Adams and Bradley Cooper – do grow on you near the end of the improbable and fictional ending. But it’s a bumpy ride. The two best characters are the mafia don from Miami and Cooper’s boss at the FBI who is the true working-class hero of the story. They’re played with aplomb in their brief scenes and I’ll keep that actors a secret because they’re about the best things in this movie.

David O. Russell directs and, as with his previous film Silver Linings Playbook, gets the most out of his actors and weak story. American Hustle is based upon an obscure, late-70’s scandal known by the racist moniker Arab Scam which was shortened to Abscam.  It netted some local politicians, a couple of US congressmen and a Senator. While the convictions were upheld, the methods employed by some ambitious FBI agents helped rewrite the laws when it came to such investigations, making it much harder to nab the 'real' bad guys.

How does Christian Bale complete his character's awful combover? 

A shaved belly visible in other scenes may provide a clue.

What is done extremely well is recreating the kitsch of that era with all its butterfly-collared, gold chain glory. One of the best scenes takes place in a disco straight from Saturday Night Fever and, man, can Amy Adams and Bradley Cooper dance. I've never seen a sexier rendition of the Bust Stop.

But all that glitter doesn't make up for the fact that this movie takes forever to get off the ground and when it does, the flight is short and they run out of cheesey goldfish. A little research showed that the ending is just complete fantasy.

This is definitely a movie to rent a few weeks from now. While it may garner some awards for acting, sets and costumes, it gets nothing more than two Wilders from me.

 

Our Overlooked Film of Significance for the Week: I really like Amy Adams and there is any number of her films worth watching that you've probably missed. I would recommend Enchanted because it is so improbably good. A fairy tale character (Adams) gets sucked into contemporary New York City having to deal with all the drudgery of daily life with which the rest of us must contend.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1170358/

I haven’t read The Hobbit, yet I sense the parts of this film that don’t work are those expanded or invented to turn one book into three long, big-budget films. Some scenes are way too long to hold interest. This film suffers from a terrible case of middle-trilogy-itis that didn’t affect LOTR: The Two Towers.

Most of the characters from the first film are back with the exception of the one who is the most interesting in these as well as the LOTR films. I’m sure you can guess. Since I haven’t read the book I don’t know if this character will show up at the end of the story, but I do hope so.

There are some new characters, including one who has been fully invented from thin air to give the story an unnecessary love interest. This, too, helps slow the action with tedious (and somewhat unbelievable) romance.

The makers of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug have us over a barrel when it comes to forking over ticket money.

Still, Peter Jackson sure knows what to do with CGI effects as well as that gorgeous New Zealand landscape. It’s long been said that these movies are the best advertisement for the kiwi tourist industry and you won’t be disappointed here. BTW, here's another film where the use of 3D illusion is a help in enjoying the technology. (Sorry, Mr. Ebert, wherever you are.)

Martin Freeman plays Bilbo Baggins perfectly just as he perfectly plays Dr. Watson in the new BBC Sherlock series which is one of my current favorites, so I’m very used to him. Ian McKellen is always good, but no one seems to notice that he looks 20 years older in this story than he did in the initial trilogy set 30 years in the future from this story’s timeline.

The best part of the picture, from which they derive the title, is very good, but still goes on way too long. And then… well there’s no real ending, just a plea to plop down another $9.50 next Christmas to see how it all turns out. That will give me ample time to try to read the book again.

If you like to have the TV on for white noise while you do something else – balance the checkbook or write a blog – this would be a good choice. This year I wrote Christmas cards with LOTR: The Return of the King tracking on telly. And for that, I’ll give The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug two and one-half Wilders.

   

Our Overlooked Film of Significance for the Week: A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.  Many purists hated this movie and there was a collective “Huh?” when Martin Freeman was cast in the lead, but his Arthur Dent has an appropriate subduedness to the blinding aggravation of dealing with a universe of misdirected beings.