A Good Day to Die Hard
For fans of Bruce Willis and the Die Hard series, this is a
movie you’ll love. All your favorite bits are there, the hilarious one-liners,
the incredible action sequences, the
slow motion death of the bad guy in a
painful way. There’s even the de rigueur ‘Yippee-ki-yay motherfucker’ (if a
little half-hearted). So run out and rent it and thanks for reading…
Are they gone?
Okay, if you’re still reading you’re either A) someone who doesn't especially like Willis/Die Hard or B) know what de rigueur means; or
both A and B.
Essentially, this movie blows. Willis phones in his
performance having been down this road so many times he could do it in his
sleep. Actually, I think he was nodding off during many scenes. I’m sure he got
his 20 million payday, or maybe 50 million, but the real ‘hero’ of this film is
the writer(s) who had to come up with a new way to insert a New York policeman into
a plot by the nasty-de-jour without
coming up with something so embarrassing he wouldn't want to attend his
upcoming 10th frat reunion at UCLA.
A Good Day to Die Hard
What he comes up with is bad enough. Policeman John McClane
can’t find his son so he goes looking for him in… (wait for it) … Moscow. Really! The Russian one. After driving around
a few hours he finds the boy who just happens to be in the middle of a deep
–cover CIA operation to spirit a guilt-ridden nuclear arms dealer out of the
country. Hey, I’m couldn’t make this up.
McClane, wanting to have a heart-to-heart at the first opportunity, promptly
screws up the entire operation forcing father and son to move about Russia as
if they were taking part in a weekend golf scramble.
Their journey through Russia eventually takes them to that
goldmine of B-movie plots, the sealed
nuclear power plant at Chernobyl. Let’s not get into the fact that our heroes
as well as the bad guys would need to cross an international border to get
there which happens to be in Ukraine, not Russia, and hasn’t been part of the
Soviet Union for some 20 years. Of course, a knowledge of international affairs
has never been a prerequisite for enjoying this cinema genre and we’ll just
sweep all that under the carpet, sorta like the soviets did at Chernobyl.
In the end, McClane, pere et fils, make things right, save
the day and make it back to the good ole U.S.A. for a hero’s welcome. Cue
Beethoven’s Ode to Joy. Prior to one particularly harrowing stunt, McClane
quips, “The things we do for our kids.” It might have been more appropriate if
he’d said, “The things we do for our fans.” That is if Bruce Willis even has an
iota of integrity left, which is about as likely as John McClane getting a
broken rib or concussion. This is the kind of movie you’ll come across while
channel surfing late one night and wonder whether this was the last one or the
one where he goes looking for alien terrorists in the jungles of Peru. Bad
movie, no Wilders!
This week’s Overlooked Film of Significance: If you've never seen it, try to find a copy of
Local Hero. It’s a rare movie about somewhat real people, including a visitor
from Russia who isn't bent on destruction or robbery, or look like an ignorant
fool.
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